After the rant

And today.. I fucking feel like posting. So I am, and I can, and that's how it is.

My Dad has a friend - we'll call him Stan. Stan is married to a lady we'll call Belinda. For the last few years - I can't even remember how many to be exact - Belinda has been battling cancer. I can think of 3 times off the top of my head that she's been told she doesn't have long. Somehow, a miracle I'm sure, she's managed to pull through and most times she looks better then all of us "healthy" people out there.

I got the call from my Mom tonight that Belinda has been given bad news again. And for some reason that I can't explain this is affecting me more then it has in the past. I know this lady, but not as much as many others. I've been told I was great friends with her the night of my brother's wedding in 2004. She provided Joey and I, along with my family, entertainment with her wedding gift, as it was the only one we didn't know who it was from. She phoned me a few days later to say that she had looked in a bag and saw the card was still there and realized she'd gifted me with no card. We all had a laugh. It was a beautiful gift, I'm glad I found out who it was from. Years back when I worked at the golf course, I remember her down there. My point being - I know Belinda, but she's not entirely part of my life. Her husband is a great friend of my Dad's, and she is as well.

I can't explain how I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it so strongly. I've been sitting here as though I'm numb for most of the evening, randomly crying in intervals. I know I'm an emotional person - that should explain it. However, I just feel so funny about it this time. I'm not psychic - so I choose to not believe it to be an omen... I hope with everything in me it isn't.

Bleh.

Ciao