Random out of nowhere-ness

I didn't even remember this thing still exists!

That's awesome!

So I thought - hey - sign in - ramble for 3 days about the last year and a half of life and that'll be good times for EVERYONE!

Then I realized - not so much. Quite frankly, if you know me, you know life from the last year and a half, if you don't, chances are you don't give a rat's ass. So playing catch-up is not needed. I'll just keep on rambling like I never stopped and like y'all know exactly where life stands!

And where does life stand? Well, as of yesterday, I (we?) are officially 37 weeks pregnant. That's right, our very own little AmeriCanadian is on it's way, expected now any time - although I'll probably still be saying that this time next month, with my luck!

I never thought I'd be one of those gushy pregnant people (I don't know why, I'm gushy by nature...) but this whole experience has been - an interesting roller coaster type of thing.

On one hand, there truly is no words to describe the feeling of carrying another life in my belly. I can't believe that at this stage of the game, I am still amazed and in love everytime little "Jelly" kicks or pokes at me. I've loved the fact that I have had this lil' being to myself for the last 9 months and that no one else can feel what I feel. Selfish bitch, ain't I?!

On the other hand - it's not all rainbows and butterflies - and one would not say that I am a "glowing" pregnant person. Perhaps the exact opposite. I never puked - thankfully - so I always say that it could have been much worse. However, I spent the first 4 months feeling like I was getting hit by a bus on a daily basis. The second trimester, when everyone is supposed to feel like a million bucks, I spent sick with mostly non-pregnancy related things. I cured those up just in time for the 3rd trimester where I've been lucky enough to feel like a house most of the time. Although the 3rd has been my fave for the simple amount of beebopping around little one has been doing!

So now, here I am at 37 weeks and a day. Two days ago we had an ultrasound to check on things, where we found out that at that point, our little "jelly" was more appropriately called "porky" as at not even full term it's well on it's way to being 8lbs. EIGHT MUTHAFNPOUNDS - and I have possibly WEEKS to go. Joey found a baby onsie back in the early stages that read "I tore Mommy a new one!" - who knew it'd be so possible now?

With motherhood (parenthood?) on the horizon - it's amazing how many thoughts and feelings one can go though. It's amazing how one can feel so excited one minute (BRING IT ON!!) and so absolutely terrified the next (I CAN'T BE A FUCKING PARENT, I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!)

But mostly it's almost overwhelming how excited and eager I am, despite the being terrified part! I think the anticipation is almost enough to kill a person, and I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to make it until the 21st (due date), and I'm even less sure of how I'm going to potentially go up to 14 days after that!! All the books and classes and websites in the world doesn't teach that shit...!!