blah blah blah what were you expecting?

9.23.2005

I'm an emotional girl...

Seriously. It's not like I try the hide that I cry more than what should be humanly possible.

Especially with the absolute bullshit information I found out earlier this week.

Especially when my female friend is visiting sooner rather than later.

But for the love of everything good in this world, do I REALLY have to cry at the 2 fucking Scooby Doo movies??

Oi oi oi.

ciao!

9.21.2005

Hmmm

I don't even know where to start.

I wanna know who the hell I pissed off in a previous life to have this life. I mean, granted, I'm not stupid, I know I've been very VERY lucky with some aspects of life. I'm not taking that for granted at all.

My point is, the parts of life I'd just like to have work right ... just don't.

I spoke to the people at my school today. Or should I say the school I had hoped to go to. And it leaves me 100% not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm not going to get into the gory details. The bottom line is right now all I want to do is lay in bed curled up in a ball and eat ice cream. And I just may.

I'm so frustrated and sad and mad and everything else in between, at having no control over this aspect of my life. I don't know what to do, where to go or how to do anything. And at this point I'm not entirely sure I ever will.

Why bother having hopes and dreams when they never fucking turn out anyway.

9.20.2005

Reason #872

Why I shouldn't be living at my parents house.

Besides being 28 and having lived on my own, in my own house, for 7-8 years.

My dad is addicted to solitaire on the computer.

The computer is in my room.

My laptop is on their computer desk.

My dad chain smomkes.

Today I find a pile of ash on my laptop.

Did he miss the ashtray? Think it was the ashtray? Too lazy to find the ashtray?

I need my paperwork to be done.

Also - on a totally different note.

I had a eyebrow waxing mishap today. I look really goofy. On the bright side - they're evened out. On the not-so-bright-side I have the eyebrows that I've always made fun of. Pooh.

Ciao

Blargh Mofo!

Sometimes I think if I could just calm my head down enough to sit down and do it, I'd write an amazing story. I'm not sure what it'd be about, and I'm not sure if others would find it amazing, but I would.

Writing used to come so easy to me, whether it was short stories or poems or letters. And now I sit and stare at this friggin' blog and and nothing comes out.

Back when we started this blog the only big rule was that it was all to be made up bullshit. And I had to start writing real things because I couldn't write made up bullshit..

Then again - I can only write *so* much real stuff - let everything out? Hell no - the bitchy side pops up enough - the rest is fine tucked deep down where it is.

There's some thing about being in a not-so-content place in my life that brings out the writer in me. Then I realize no one wants to read what I want to write. So I don't.

C'est la vie..

Ciao

9.18.2005

Lost in OT

Tonight, Dupe, her hubby and I attended the home opener Bruin game. Man - did that flood back the memories.

Last time I was actually at a Bruin game in that rink was sometime in college. But tonight we stood over - what Dupe so lovingly called - The Bun section - right where we used to sit our asses for every home game in high school.

Is it sad that at one point I could see the guys *we* knew out there playing? I blame it on the fact that an ex-player is now the ass coach. teehee.

Watching all the lil' kiddies (high school!) giggling and carrying on - it was us, just - smaller and with less clothes.

More memory lane trips. I guess that's what you expect when you're living back in a place that you haven't lived in since those memories happened. Or - at least around that time.

We had a lot of good times in that rink. Working, cheering, being drunk - all of it was good times. Bunnies? I'm not sure - to an extent anyways.... but so many fun memories.

I think it's just the fact that my life is at such an unavoidable standstill right now - being here - makes a part of me wish I could go back in time and have all the fun we used to.

Then again - certain Joey'ish parts of my life (and i'm sure my girls and their hubbys would agree) are much better now than the were back then.


Ahh memories

For the record - the Bruins lost in overtime against Melville. Rumour has it they won there last night though.

Ah I love hockey. I especially love Saskatchewan hockey. I especially love Saskatchewan hockey at the Civic.

There's a player from Colorado this year - that's neat!

Ciao!

(all over the friggin' place hehe)

9.16.2005

Happy 50th Westview!!

Tonight Dupe and I took in the festivites as our old elementary school celebrated it's 50th anniversary.

Okay - I know that sounds lame for a Friday night - but I loved it.

I hadn't set foot inside that building since I finished grade 6 there back in 1980something - and even though it's been renovated and there's a new gym and things are moved around... walking in was such a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Sentimental? Can't spell, but I am it, and I'm okay with that. For those that know me - you'll be surprised to know I didn't cry!

It was good to see some of the teachers that were there when we were - two still working, two retired teachers that came back for the shindig. My grade six teacher/principal of the school - whom I so lovingly declared "MOST FAVE TEACHER EVER" at Loafy and MacMillMann's wedding last year. Numerous times. Drunk. MANY MANY TIMES. I was surprised she wanted to be seen in the same building tonight!

They had all the class pictures from the time they started keeping them until last year hanging on the wall to look at so Dupe and I took her mom's neighbor (who's in grade 2 and goes to school there) and we picked us out in every picture - she didn't even say we were ugly back then - score!

We toured around the classrooms - all of them - even though some are used for different grades now. The kindergarden room and grade 1 room still have the same tables that we used to sit at. The K kids still get a sandbox, and a woodworking station and their own bathroom. The library still has the same model of the scull with life like brain. The mini water-fountains and bathrooms. All the old books. I think some of the desks are even original.

I left there feeling proud and amazed - that for seven years of my life - that is the environment that shaped and moulded me so much on the path of who I am today.

Thanks for a great 7 years Westview - I'll see you in another 50.

(cheesball!)

Ciao.

9.13.2005

What in the .... ??

Imagine my shock and amazement at logging on and finding not one but 2 comments on my previous insane rant.

Thinking - ah HA - I've struck a chord!

Nah - advertisements

What the fuck is that?

Do people have nothing better to do than put goddamn ads on blog entries??

Although - the strangly appropriate Canadian Immigration one is appreciated..... but don't tell them that!

God I'm sick of sitting around doing nothing.

For Giggles - Ukranian dates have been replaced by English. Happy?! :D

Ciao.

9.12.2005

Must... remember ... to ... post....

Sorry. What can I say.

So the other day - I was sitting in my car after a truely horrible day that involved Joey flying back to Tex-ass thinking "Goddamnit - maybe I should start using one of those diary's Dupe has given me every year for my birthday since i was 2." You know - as an outlet to my ever increasing state of total and utter evilness.

Then I thought - "Better Idea - I can bitch on the blog! EVERYONE loves reading about me bitching!!"

Okay so I know you don't. But ya know what - this is MY blog so I can BITCH IF I WANT! (Oh yeah - and Joey's - but really - what's the last thing you've seen him say?!)

So I've made a huge and giant addition to my pet-peeve list. And that's what's got me wanting to kill things this week.

Here it is - and yes - this is one entry on the p.p. list - not multiple -

Ignorant, ungreatful, stuckup, wannabe, assholish, childish, pathetic, and sad people who are busy trying to be something that they're not, all the while alienating anyone and everyone who liked them much better when they at least half grasped the concept that who they *are* isn't bad, and can't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that they have no one to blame but themselves for all of their bitterness and resentment and that they would be smart to find something to make them happier soon because a committment to the next 50 years of their lives has been made and oh well it sucks to be you too bad so sad at this rate people like this deserve everything that they have coming to them - it's just sad that others in the situaton will have to suffer for their absolute stupidity.

I'm so lucky to have people like this in my life! And if you *think* it might be you I'm talking about - rest assured - it probably is. And to be perfectly honest - nothing's been missing out of my life since y'all decided to take a ride on the bitter train, so quite frankly unless you're willing to act your age instead of acting like a bunch of 2 year olds....

Fuck off and die.

I don't want anything' to do with yas unless you all come bearing apologizes for everyone you've hurt and shit on in the last year. That might be the way things are done in your world, but you're part of ours now, and it's not the way we work.

Coward for bearing my soul on the blog that I know specifically who does and does not read? Maybe so, but unlike *some* people, I don't need to have the last word, I know how to keep my mouth shut, I don't go around spouting lies and I'm okay with saying my piece and then leaving it. At least this way it's in writing and can't be twisted to whatever the fuck you want it to say.

Ciao!